In light of the craziness going on with the COVID-19 (aka the coronavirus) and what I’m calling the #coronapocolypse, I thought I’d look on the bright side, and reflect on why it’s a good time to be a sailor.*

#1: Sailors keep their cool, even in the middle of a storm

That includes the literal shitstorm everyone must be fearing, which would explain the panic-purchases of toilet paper.

But sailors? We don’t panic. We look at the facts, we plot the best course, and we ride it out.

#2: Sailors are resourceful

We figure shit out. So when someone needs help and can’t find it due to temporary closings or lack of supplies, call a sailor. They’ll figure out a way to do whatever it is you need done.

#3: Sailors love extended periods of time without seeing other people

We go off the grid for fun, so a couple of weeks of social distancing is child’s play to us.

Need me? I’ll just be over here catching up on books or napping. Now leave me alone.

#4: Sailors are used to provisioning enough food and supplies to last weeks or months

Panic at the grocery store because you’re not sure what you need to buy to last the next 2-4 weeks? No panic here. Let me look at my trusty provisioning spreadsheet to see exactly what I’ll need to get me through the next 6 months. I’ve got it mapped out down to the can.

#5: Sailors are conservative with toilet paper (and thanks to #4, are probably already well-stocked)

Since most sailors are used to not flushing TP, and also going longer periods of time between supply runs, we have a natural tendency to not overuse the stuff. A few squares is fine. And why yes, I can spare a square. Here you go.

#6: Sailors can fish, so empty grocery aisles don’t concern us

If, by chance, our provisions do run out, we’re still good. We’ve got poles, spears, and a sea full of fish to keep us fed. While everyone else is down to canned tuna and Vienna sausages, we’ll be the ones eating fresh mahi mahi.

#7: Sailors drink rum. Rum cures everything.

You know why sailors on old ships always had rum stores, right?

No, not because they just liked to get drunk (although there’s that), but apparently, a daily shot of rum helped keep scurvy away. It remains to be seen if it helps coronavirus, but either way, bottoms up!

#8: Sailors are self-sufficient

You don’t have to worry about sailors using all the resources. We’ll save those for the common folk. We’re super self-sufficient and can rely on our own devices to get us through crazy times.

#9: Sailors have boats… aka a way to escape the madness

This is perhaps the most important one. Because when the madness gets too crazy, we just say, “peace out”, untie those dock lines, and sail away to somewhere warm and tropical…

Where the only Corona to speak of is an ice cold one, garnished with lime.

*Disclaimer: I understand that this is a serious situation for many. This is all in good fun and not meant to be insensitive. Sometimes it helps to find the humor in a situation. Do your due diligence, wash your hands, practice patience, kindness, and empathy, but by all means, don’t forget to laugh a little, too. Cheers!